INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
Berkshire Hathaway’s latest Annual Report was recently released, and it opened with a wistful letter from the massive company’s leader, Warren Buffett. In it, Buffett gave a nod to the recent passing of his longtime co-leading partner, Charlie Munger. Buffett credited Munger for being “the architect of Berkshire,” letting Buffett take the limelight while quietly sitting in the background. Buffett went on to say this of Munger:
“Even when he knew he was right, he gave me the reins, and when I blundered he never, never, reminded me of my mistake.”
I think it’s good advice for us all. It’s essential to give people in your life (employees, bosses, children, peers, friends, family) the space and grace to make mistakes, to learn from them, and grow.
I think it’s good advice to not beat people over the head when they make a mistake. No one is going to be harder on them than themselves, most likely.
But I think the most important thing to take away here, is to thank the architects in your life. Who helped construct who you are today? Who showed you the blueprint in some way, for you to carry out as “the general contractor,” as Buffett so eloquently termed it? It could be anybody, a former boss or co-worker. A mom or dad. Brother or sister. Friend or mentor. Whoever it is, let them know they’ve made an impact. Don’t save it for your Annual Report of gratitude. Do it now.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
Things change. Time goes by. We live differently in the world along the way. In phases, if you will.
The problem arises when you hold on too long to old phases, old ways of being, old identities. The problem arises when you feel as if something is wrong about leaving behind an old identity, as if it were some badge of defeat. Harvard psychologist Susan David puts it this way, and she couldn’t be more right (edited for brevity):
“Our identities are not static. They are ever-changing, always subject to revision and renegotiation. Do yourself the favor of recognizing that the ‘you’ you are now is not the ‘you’ of years past. Rather than attempting to reach the final draft of yourself, find the courage to keep revising.”
In other words, bravely consider who you are now, or who you want/need to be, embrace that identity, and release the narratives that no longer support that.
Ask yourself, “Is there a story about myself I need to let go of? Is there an identity I now want to assume?” If so, do so. And don’t look back.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
Want to increase your sense of resilience and fortitude in the face of setbacks? Try a proven, simple, strategy called The Balance Sheet Shuffle. It requires remembering that whenever you lose something, you gain something too.
So, rebalance your internal balance sheet. Find the plus to offset the minus.
In adversity, we most often focus on what we’ll lose: time, money, resources, momentum, our confidence, our identity, our job, and so on. We skip over what we’ll gain, like knowledge, wisdom, experience, or any other of a thousand possible pieces of “agreeable adversity.”
It’s understandable as most of us have an almost violent aversion to loss, one that can even cause us to act in ways we never intended. For example, research shows that gamblers at a horse track who are having a losing day are the ones most likely to place a bet on a horse with long-shot, terrible odds in the last race of the day. They’re faced with the realization of loss and are willing to bet on a horse with 20:1 odds, a bet they’d never make when they first arrived at the track.
So, don’t let a setback throw you off-balance. Just re-balance, by asking, “What is there to gain from what I’m going through?”
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