INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
Here’s a question I’d like you to stop, pause, and think about for a moment.
What has no place in your life that has made a place?
I’m not talking about obvious stuff like hate, racism, sexism, etc. I’m talking here about something unproductive that doesn’t serve you, that has quietly seeped into your life, in big ways or small. It happens to us all. Maybe it’s unhealthy habits like not watching what you eat often enough or not being in motion enough. Maybe it’s a growing relaxedness to how often you reach out to family or friends. Or a sense of self-doubt, skepticism, or distaste for your fellow human being that’s insidiously crept in. Odds are, if you ask this question, you’ll find an unwanted house guest. And one that has overstayed their unwelcome.
In the spirit of spring-cleaning, consider this inquiry and kick something unhelpful that’s made a place in your life to someplace else – the curb.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
What makes pushing back on someone even more uncomfortable than it already is?
The fact that you can do it wrong. And many of us, understandably, do. In my new LinkedIn Learning course, How to Push Back at Work (and Look Good Doing It), one important thing I cover is the “no-no’s” of pushing back – when disagreeing with someone, or pushing back on new work requests. Here’s what to avoid.
· Never let emotion drive your pushback. Emotions rarely help when pushing back, as they tend to shove aside logic, facts, and diplomacy.
· Never push back on the person – push back on the point-of-view. It’s about keeping the right tone. Of course, you’re pushing back on the person, but you don’t want it to sound personal. You avoid this by focusing on the point-of-view you disagree with.
· Don’t argue your point of view, advocate for it. This is also about keeping the right tone. Of course, you should express your point of view, and healthy debate is essential. I’m saying that pushing back isn’t about being argumentative, it’s about advocating for a different point-of-view. Advocating vs. arguing creates a different mindset and tone.
Regarding new work requests:
· Never say, “I don’t have time.” Nobody does. It’s not a compelling pushback in today’s world. And it sends a subtle, unintended message of “You’re not important enough.” For example, if you asked someone to run a report for you, and they said, “I don’t have time,” while they actually might not have time, you can’t help but feel there’s an implied, “I don’t have time – for you.”
· Never say, “It’s not my job.” Even if it isn’t, or if the work being requested is, indeed, outside your role, just saying this flatly, won’t help. Why? It can create reactive thoughts like, “Ah – you’re just lazy,” or “That’s an excuse,” or “You just don’t feel like doing it.” If the request really is outside your job description, you can still make that point, but with more finesse, in a way that’ll be better received. (The rest of the course, among other things, explains how)
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
In my new LinkedIn Learning course, “Ten Micro-Impressions to Make in an Interview,” I discuss how to answer that tricky “What’s your weakness?” question in an interview, while still being authentic. Remember that interviewers are looking for three things when they ask you this question: honesty, self-awareness, and a drive to improve. So, your answer should honestly address a weakness, complete with detail on how you’re working to improve upon it. As for what weakness to share, think about the job requirements for the job, and then share a legitimate weakness that won’t jeopardize your candidacy for the job.
For example, if you’re interviewing for a high-level strategic position, you probably don’t want to share that strategic-thinking is a weakness. Reasonable, honest weaknesses to share include a lack of patience, difficulty with delegation, and harsh self-criticism, for example. Here’s an example of a full answer to “What’s your weakness”:
“My weakness? Well, I’m working on delegating effectively. I tend to take too much pride of ownership and feel confident in my abilities so much so, that I want to ensure that things get done right. But I’m learning that I’m my best, most productive self, and that I bring out the best in others, when I find ways to effectively delegate. I’ve been working on setting clear objectives for work I delegate with clear direction, support, and resources. I’m not 100% there yet, but I’m truly committed to turning delegation into a strength.”
In this example, I picked an honest weakness to share, demonstrating self-awareness and eagerness to learn and improve. But note that the weakness was shared in a way that still highlighted some positives about me (my pride of ownership and belief in my abilities). Also note I shared a path to improving (by giving clear direction, support, and resources when I delegate), which hints to the interviewer that I’m capable of learning and growing.
Interviewers are looking for good perspective, not perfection.
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