INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
I get asked a lot about how to create the conditions for success. Of course, the permutations on this are endless, but so much of the advice that I, or anyone, could offer centers on a fundamental, and yet oft-overlooked truth.
If you want to succeed, spend as much time as possible on what matters, and as little time as possible on what doesn’t.
I know you know this. I risk eye-rolls here by stating the obvious. But here’s the thing – and you don’t need the scores of research I could put in front of you to prove something you already know. We get pulled, by others, or by our own lack of discipline, or by life, into spending way too much time on the insignificant. Full stop.
By the way, I’m not talking about the “maintenance tasks” of life, the things you must do at times to keep your job, to maintain that relationship, or to live in this society.
I’m just bringing you back to how much comes back to this: you can either assist success or block it based on what you spend your time on. Constantly remind yourself of that. Endlessly conduct an inventory of your time, because unimportant activity has a way of sneaking up on you and hijacking your time and energy.
Sorry for the obvious – I just don’t want you to be oblivious.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
It happens to all of us. The first thing to go when we get really busy is that we stop investing in our learning and growth. It’s a long-term mistake that’s easy to justify in the moment. But it’s just as easy to take a moment to re-institute a spirit of continuous learning and growth in your life – with the 3C Exercise. Take a few moments at the beginning of each week to reflect on this question:
“What shall I learn this week to advance my CAREER, CAUSE, and CURIOSITY?”
The 3C’s. Consider what you could learn to help your CAREER. Maybe it’s scheduling a lunch with a mentor who gives great career advice, or it’s committing to read just a few pages a day of that book about leadership.
Think about what you could learn to help feed your CAUSE, something bigger picture that’s important to you. Say a cause of yours is kindness, a core value that adds purpose to your life. Ask, “What shall I learn this week to help promote kindness?” It might be learning more about someone at work and how you might be able to help them, for example. It’s a form of learning that feeds a yearning.
Finally, what could you learn that week that you’re just CURIOUS about? Maybe you’re interested in mythology so you commit to reading one article on the topic that week. Or you’ve always wanted to learn Spanish so you decide this is the week you sign up for that online course. This kind of learning is just fun and sparks the love of learning for the sake of learning, for the joy of expanding your knowledge base.
Once you’ve identified one thing you can do for each C that week, commit to it. You’ll keep the growing going.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
Hey, I’m all for fortitude and perseverance, and “the only way out is through” tenacity. Heck, I wrote a book that has much to do with all that (The Mentally Strong Leader).
But sometimes, the only way out, is out.
Here’s how to spot when it’s time to move on or get out from underneath that idea/project/goal you’ve been laboring at. Ask yourself if any of the following are true – if so, it’s time to get out.
1. Has the opportunity cost become too great?
Perhaps in continuing to try to fix the idea/project or deliver the stubborn goal, you’ve passed up too much other opportunity, or you can’t get to mission-critical elements of other important endeavors.
2. Has the risk become greater than the reward?
Is the risk of proceeding (financially, socially, mentally, resource-wise, time-wise, health-wise) simply become so great that it outweighs the reward of sticking it out?
3. Are you ignoring inevitabilities?
In your spirited fight to achieve, are you bypassing some hard truths, some clear signals that this effort is simply not going to lead to what you want? Have you been averting your eyes from the “writing on the wall”?
4. Has interest in the outcome substantially waned?
In your heart of hearts, when you’re honest with yourself, even though you’ve put so much into it, are you no longer as passionate about the idea/project/goal? If not, it makes it very hard to usher it to true success.
It’s hard to say goodbye. Use this simple test to help determine if it’s time.
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