INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
The most important form of self-confidence is often overlooked. Sure, confidence most often floods in when you can say, “I’ve got this figured out.” However, a deeper, more satisfying confidence takes hold when you can say, “I know I can figure this out.” In other words, it’s about increasing your ability to know what to do when you don’t know what to do.
This includes acknowledging what you don’t know and committing to learning. It means increasing your observational powers (by gathering/analyzing data, spotting trends and patterns, identifying and challenging assumptions that are not serving you well). It includes learning from past experiences, keeping an open mind, and being comfortable in uncertainty. Bottom line, believe that you can figure that thing out that lies ahead of you. That form of confidence leads to the most satisfying form of accomplishment.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
Giving feedback in an effective manner is hard enough, so when you get it right, you most certainly don’t want it to backfire on you after the fact. But it’s an easy mistake to make: to forget to manage the emotional reaction to your feedback. Quite often, feedback turns to blame, dodging responsibility, or fear. I recently came across a piece in Harvard Business Review that offers much of the same advice I share on this topic in my LinkedIn Learning courses. Practice the following five things to manage the emotional reaction to feedback.
1. Focus on actions. Make it about the predicament, not the person. Focus on their behavior and what they could have done differently. Feedback is not the time to come across as judgmental. And ensure your tone is imbued with compassion and understanding, so that you come across like you’re trying to help. Everyone wants to talk to an ally. No one wants to talk to a critic.
2. Invite their perspective. Ask how they saw the situation and remain open to missing context. This reduces defensiveness and keeps the discussion focused on understanding rather than finger-pointing.
3. Create momentum. Help them get past their frustration with the feedback and identify manageable solutions.
4. Be clear on what good looks like.You’re sharing feedback because you want them to improve. So, define what better performance looks like, discuss a clear path forward, and recognize progress as it happens.
5. Watch where their energy goes. After giving the feedback, does the person seem focused on improving their work/behavior, or have they fallen into defensiveness and blaming? Course correct as needed.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
Want to give a good talk?
Follow the Netflix Rule.
The streaming giant has shown that audiences subconsciously decide if they’ll watch a show in the first 5 seconds. It sounded like an exaggeration to me until I started paying attention to opening scenes – sweeping vistas that set the tone of the show, a compelling visual of a lead character, and so on. Apply this spirit by opening your talk with a hook. Give a startling fact, question, or challenge that sets up your talk, or open with an interesting story. For example, in one of my most popular talks, I don’t start with, “Hi, so great to be here, how y’all doing?” I open with, “It was a surprisingly chilly day.” Then I launch right into a compelling story that sets up the entire premise of the talk. You get the idea. Hook em’ up front, have ‘em riveted throughout.
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