INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
Gallup research recently disclosed a shocking truth; 63% of employees do not feel they’re treated with respect at work. The number matches the lowest level they’ve ever recorded.
I want to say I’m surprised, but alas, I cannot. In a world that seemingly grows more divisive by the day, littered with misinformation, where we have a hard time even agreeing on what the facts are, with more causes of tension and disagreement than ever, I guess this is an “expected” outcome. It shouldn’t be an accepted outcome, however.
Gallup themselves has called for a Respect Renaissance, and they offer the following advice to get the ball rolling:
“Understand that respect is personal and situational. Intentional or unintentional disrespect can escalate when managers are not in touch with their people. What feels normal to one person can feel like an affront to another. For example, Gallup finds that employees fall about evenly into being “splitters” or “blenders” when it comes to work-life balance. Some people enjoy getting work calls or emails outside of business hours (blenders), others hate it (splitters). People are less likely to feel respected when their work routine doesn’t match their preferred way of working.
Address disrespect at work with frequent (weekly) meaningful conversations between managers and team members.”
In other words, take the time to truly understand what respect looks like to each individual.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
Even if your natural “default mode” is to be respectful (which it is for most of us), you can still unintentionally engage in little breaches of respect and dignity, at work, and in life. I’m not talking here about huge violations, like being racist or grossly offensive. I’m referring to six common, but not so obvious, breakdowns in respect. I’ll ask you to “Reflect for Respect” – review each of these, and for any that apply to you, make a commitment to course-correct.
1. Not staying available and approachable.
When a leader is unapproachable or never around, it’s just plain disrespectful to employees. Staying approachable and available means recognizing that employees need your time. Some even see the opportunity to connect with you as a reward. You don’t have to choose between being professional or personable. Be both.
2. Not proactively seeking others’ opinions.
Employees want to know their opinion matters, and they feel respected when asked for it. I had one boss who often neglected to solicit my opinion – so I eventually stopped giving it, because I doubted it would be appreciated. Not good.
3. Not being mindful of the other’s state of mind.
Imagine if an invisible sign hung around each employee’s neck that spoke to their state of mind, like a sign saying, “I feel sad today, or super-stressed.” Be mindful of what that sign might say, and if something’s “off,” be sensitive to it. Doing so shows you respect them as human beings as much as employees.
4. Not adapting to different communication styles.
Meaning, accept and reward employees for who they are and adjust to individual styles. For example, maybe that R&D person takes forever to get to the point, but when they do, there’s usually a gem buried within. You can show blatant impatience that their communication style doesn’t match yours, or you can be patient and accommodating.
5. Not being on time…every time.
I’m working on improving here. Showing up late shows you don’t respect the other’s time, or them, by default. It says, “You aren’t important to me.” Enroll others to help if you have to. At one point, I asked my team to help in my quest to be on time (by not keeping me past a meeting’s end, etc.)
6. Not showing respect for the past.
When leaders trash how something was done in the past, or a past result, it’s disrespectful to those who did the work (many of whom may be in the room). If you have criticism to offer, remember those who might be attached to that criticism, and proceed with a respectful tone.
So, make a habit of showing respect in these unexpected ways, and you’ll be more respected as a leader.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
Getting the respect you deserve at work isn’t just a passive activity. You can be proactive by earning more respect. Ask yourself these 3 questions to strengthen your “respected-quotient”:
• What can I give to earn respect?
• What should I resist to earn respect?
• What should I exude to earn respect?
Give, Resist, Exude. That’s your framework. Here are proven behaviors for each (you discern what’s uniquely needed in your situation, though).
Give: more than you get, your time and knowledge, praise and credit, the extra 10% (always), your POV and stick by it, feedback, your word and keep it, and respect. (Yup, when you consistently give respect to others, you’re more likely to get it back)
Resist: credit-grabbing, gossip/sharing secrets, over-apologizing, negativity, blaming.
Exude: professionalism, accountability, mastery, transparency/authenticity, confidence, empathy, collaboration, a “class-act” vibe (integrity, courtesy, humility, calm).
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