INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
I recently saw Questlove (joint front man for Jimmy Fallon’s in-house band, The Roots), give the commencement speech at Loyola Marymount University (where my daughter graduated from the School of Film and Television – anyone need a talented worker for their camera department?) He shared great life-advice, which I’ll get to in a moment, but it was his discussion on his life-long battle with Imposter Syndrome that surprised me. Or, as the drummer, record producer, disc jockey, filmmaker, music journalist, and actor, put it, his struggle with “getting bigger on the billboard, smaller in the mirror.”
We’re talking about someone who has won an Academy-Award, six Grammy’s, and a BAFTA (among numerous other awards), and who struggles, daily, with wondering when he’ll be discovered as a fraud, who constantly doubts he’s actually good enough. It causes him to downplay his accomplishments and worth, doubt his intellect and skills, and discount his expertise and experience.
While I’ve written about overcoming Imposter Syndrome before, I wanted to share Questlove’s perspective on how he deals with it, which is primarily through the power of positive self-affirmations. Learning to say to yourself, “I am…,” instead of, “Am I?” It’s essential to regularly practice affirmations because of one truth the musician shared:
“We say stuff to ourselves that we’d never tolerate from someone else.”
When we practice affirmations, it helps us to transform the way we see ourselves, to change our self-perspective. After all, as he offered, “Transformation isn’t broken to fixed. It’s a spiral staircase where you stop and look at yourself from above.”
By the way, what were the other three pieces of advice to apply every day, besides practicing positive self-affirmations?
1. Gratitude
2. Breathing (deep inhales and exhales, which he does 20 at a time)
3. Stretching
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
I’ve shared advice before about how sharing failures sparks creativity, as does giving people runway to be creative. But I recently came across another creativity trigger, from author Dan Pink, that might surprise you. A neuroscientist studied the lives of highly creative people, like Mozart, Einstein, and da Vinci. She discovered a striking habit they all had in common.
Each scheduled time every day to do nothing.
They didn’t try to focus or brainstorm, they just let their mind wander. It’s a mistake we often make – trying to force the genius to come. But it’s in unsaddled moments that creativity happens. Just like when something clicks while you’re taking a shower or walking in nature.
So, to be more creative, take a break. Let your mind wander. As Pink put it, “Creative genius isn’t about forcing brilliance. It’s about making space for it to find you.”
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
Is your team too polite with one another, rarely disagreeing? It’s not a sign of a high-potential team. Just the opposite, actually. Research shows the highest-performing teams disagree and debate more than other teams, i.e., they have “healthy tension” at times. Such teams have a base of what organizational psychologists call, “good friction,” in place. And good friction starts with one essential thing.
Normalizing disagreement.
You do this by removing the discomfort associated with disagreeing, which starts by understanding what disagreement isn’t.
Disagreement IS NOT unkindness, dysfunction, insubordination, or disaffirmation. Of these, disaffirmation is the most prevalent reason why we don’t like it when someone disagrees with us – because it feels like an attack on your identity.
So, if you want a high-performing team, normalize disagreement. Adopt the collective mindset that we can, and must, disagree at times, and that doing so is not unkindness, dysfunction, insubordination, or disaffirmation.
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