INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
Given the finite number of minutes you have on this earth, it’s worth continually revisiting exactly how you’re spending your time, especially in the elusive pursuit of “success.” Regrets often stem from realizing you’ve spent time on success red herrings while ignoring truer alternatives; i.e. when you unwittingly take success off-ramps. I’d like to bring one of these tricksters to light with a seven-word reminder.
Focus on being good vs. looking good.
A colleague recently reminded me of this; it’s something I say often. Regrets arise when we’re duped into taking false roads to success. Sometimes we dupe ourselves, like when we try to look good versus be good. Meaning, we hold back what we’re really thinking or will only agree with the boss in an attempt to ensure we look good. This, as opposed to speaking up, tackling some conflict, disagreeing with the status quo, i.e. proactively bringing more value to your role and being even better at it as a result. Or we might shy away from the hard work and analysis it takes to put forth a truly well-considered recommendation, instead spending too much time on how good the PowerPoint slides look. Or we might try to curry favor with an influential higher-up, focusing on “networking” too much, at the cost of investing the time it takes to be so good they can’t ignore you.
I’m not saying don’t be mindful of how you show up. Just don’t be mindless about it, at the cost of putting your heart and mind into maximizing the value you bring to the table.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
To err is human, and in fact, necessary. It’s how we learn and grow. But there is one mistake you should absolutely avoid. That is,making a mistake of motive, i.e. having questionable intent behind your actions. As I advise in my new book, The Mentally Strong Leader, the next time you feel yourself about to do something out of spite, anger, jealously, pure self-interest – any malevolent motive – stop, pause, and ask, “Does my intent have integrity?” If not, rethink what you’re thinking.
For example, you catch yourself about to complain about a co-worker to his boss, but then you realize your intent lacks integrity. You’re doing it to get the co-worker pulled off your team and make your life easier, when you should be addressing the issue face to face with the co-worker, with the intent of helping him change/improve.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
Want a shortcut or cheat code to more happiness?
Find a lifehack.
A lifehack is a change you make in your routines, systems, processes, or environment that almost effortlessly fosters more joy for you. For example, given what I do for a living as a speaker, author, workshopper, trainer, and course provider, I’m location agnostic. I can do my job from anywhere. So, four years ago, my wife, daughter, and I decided to move to San Diego, California (also in anticipation of my daughter going to film school in Los Angeles).
I know, right?
Let’s just say San Diego is as advertised on the weather front and on the overall West Coast living meter. I can’t help but find more joy given the environment I’ve placed myself in.
More lifehacks: recently retired friends of mine are buying an RV to force them to travel (something they love). I know someone who ditched their car and the sluggish commute so they could take their bike to work (something they love). Still another person I know started scheduling meetings five minutes after the hour to ensure she’d never be late to a meeting (something important for her sanity/stress) and coupled that with starting meetings an hour earlier so she could leave an hour earlier to be home with her kids sooner.
The point is, there are hacks for everything – even within the day-to-day of life itself and the joy it can generate.
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