INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
What’s the most important thing leaders should create? Is it revenue? Profit? Market share gains?
Nope.
It’s space.
Leaders that create space, in a number of ways, are some of the best leaders I can ever remember working for. I recently came across a piece from sociologist and author Tracy Brower that got me thinking about this topic, which I’ve talked and written about extensively. Brower refers to it as “spacious leadership.” I think of it simply as a mindset – be a leader who creates space for people to:
• Make decisions – by delegating and granting autonomy
• Be themselves – by being inclusive and mindful of different styles
• Operate in their own way to achieve an objective – by “managing by objectives” and not dictating how something needs to be done
• Make mistakes – by not berating them for every misstep, instead teaching that mistakes are an integral part of the learning process
• Speak up and participate – by inviting people in, proactively seeking out others’ opinions, and by not shutting down dissenters or differing points of view
• Experience well-being – by not overwhelming people with constant demands and prioritizing the act of prioritization
So, be a leadership ace and create space.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
A recent ESPN story revealed that the #1 golfer in the world, the dominating Scottie Scheffler, doesn’t really enjoy winning. He doesn’t find it fulfilling.
Wait, what?
It’s true. He often wonders what the point of winning is, because after a victory, he turns quickly to what’s next. He said it was “not a fulfilling life.” As he told ESPN:
“You win it, you celebrate, get to hug my family, my sister’s there, it’s such an amazing moment. Then it’s like, OK, what are we going to eat for dinner? Life goes on. It feels like you work your whole life to celebrate winning a tournament for like a few minutes. It only lasts a few minutes.”
And therein lies a common mistake. You focus intensely on achieving an outcome, putting off joy until you reach that outcome, believing that “I’ll be happy when…” Then you accomplish that thing, and you’re happy. For a moment. The fleeting nature of the joy you feel can suddenly make you wonder, “Was it all worth it?”
I know. I’ve been there. I’ve even written about this before.
So, I made an adjustment that has worked very well for me, and I know it does for others.
I learned to take joy in the process. I learned to fall in love with the work I have to put in along the way that gets me to that thing I want to accomplish. Then, when I achieve it, the joy I experience is gravy, not meat I’m starving for at that point. Top athletes and actors confess to this strategy, among others, like Tom Brady, Tom Hanks, or Hugh Jackman.
So, find joy in what it takes, not just the fleeting moment it makes.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
One of the hardest things to do at work is to push back when someone asks you for help on something. We all want to be seen as helpful. And saying “yes” is so much easier than saying “no.” But if you keep saying “yes” to anything and everything, soon your time will no longer be your own.
So, what to do?
Try giving a different “yes” to requests. Meaning, you can say “yes,” in spirit, in other ways – like having empathy for the request, providing an alternative solution, or showing support in some other way. It’s about leaving the discussion with an aura of positive energy. Stall in the face of the request if necessary, to avoid rushing to the more comfortable, actual, “yes.”
When it comes to responding, here’s an example of what this could look like. Say someone has asked you to do a report for them. You don’t have the time to do so, so you give them a different “yes,” like so:
“I’d love to do that report for you, and I understand how important it is to you. I won’t be able to devote all the time needed to impart that knowledge in full report format, but I can create a simple infographic for you that will accomplish the same goal.”
You get the idea. Find the different “yes,” whatever it is, to create the feeling of a mutual win.
Leave a Reply