INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
Can a kitchen table change you? Maybe not, but it holds memories. You can likely think of several tied to sitting around your own kitchen table. I encountered one such table of a special variety recently in a friend’s home (pictured below) – a $100 purchase they made from an auction at the Caribou Ranch recording studio, 2 hours north of Boulder. The legendary locale (now defunct) was both a peaceful respite and a work lab for many a recording artist. In fact, once upon a time, sitting around the very table you see in the picture below, were no less than John Lennon, Elton John, Joni Mitchell, Frank Zappa, Chicago, U2, Peter Frampton, Phil Collins, Billy Joel, and the Beach Boys. Legendary imprints whispering to you from the depths of the grain.
Meanwhile, at your kitchen table, every night, you have a chance to weave memories, too. It’s a communication device of the most potent kind. Musical luminaries might not be sitting across from you, but people that matter, are. Set aside the devices (my daughter reminds us to do this). Resist the weariness of the day. Talk. Ask questions. Listen. Catch up. It’s amazing how much flies by unnoticed and unknown, naked to the eyes of those the very closest to you in your life.
I’m not saying every meal has to be a circle around the campfire – I get the need to eat in silence once in a while, and quickly, to get on to the next thing. I’m just advocating for the time-honored tradition of using a rectangular, or circular, or oval, or whatever, entity, as a touchstone of your life. The memories made won’t just be vague shadows surrounding the table when called to service, but imprints made on one another.
Huh. I guess a kitchen table can change you, after all.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many leaders make)
In auto racing, at the start of a race, the pace car rides ahead of the field for a few laps at a high, even keel speed. Then, having enabled a running start, they drop out of the way as cars behind accelerate past with vigor.
Likewise, the best leaders set the pace for their organization, role modeling the behaviors they want to see, helping the “field” to a running start, and then getting out of the way after fully charging and empowering the organization. One of the most common mistakes leader’s make is forgetting to get out of the way and let the group rev their engines. Don’t let that be you.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
As I share in my new book, The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors, a key part of mental strength is decision-making. Those best at it avoid decision-making biases. One of the most common (there are 12 discussed in the book), is confirmation bias. This is the tendency to search for, interpret, and favor information that confirms your beliefs, or a decision you want to make.
Here’s a simple, but powerful, strategy to avoid confirmation bias. Invite people in to challenge your point of view – to try to disprove what you’re inclined to decide. And learn to accept inevitabilities sooner; i.e. stop looking for data to support what you want, and accept facts and data that may be pointing you towards an obvious decision.
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