INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
Hot off the press Gallup research pinpoints what followers most need from their leaders right now.
Hope.
The research, which spanned 52 countries, found that almost two-thirds of respondents said their number-one need is “to see hope from organizational leaders.” 67 percent said they simply cannot thrive without a hopeful leader.
So, my question is this. Leaders, are you providing that hope? As much as you have to deal with right now, as much as you have on your plate, are you taking the time to give … them … hope?
It can take many forms. Providing a compelling vision. Encouraging words. Or better yet, encouraging words backed with specific rationale why that encouragement should be believed (what I call “informed encouragement”).
Are you showing up with optimism? Are you celebrating the small victories in between the lumps you take? Are you pulling each employee aside, one at a time, to tell them why they matter so much to your team?
Pick up whatever form of hope you like. Just drop it off ASAP. Your people need it now, more than ever.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
Even if you don’t love pro-basketball (like I do) you’ve likely heard of LeBron James and Luka Dončić. Dončić, a 25-year-old phenom, was recently traded to the Los Angeles Lakers in a shocking move. Just before tip-off of Dončić’s first game as a Laker, as James was giving his team a quick motivational talk (per usual), he turned to the young star. According to ESPN (who picked it up on a mic), he looked at Dončić and said:
“Luka, don’t fit in, fit the $!@# out. Be yourself!”
Said Dončić after the game:
“For him to say something like that just feels amazing. It gives me confidence. And after that speech, it was chills.”
It’s so easy to make the mistake of trying too hard to fit in, of drifting away from your authentic self in a bid to be liked. I’ve been on a podcast tour for my new book (The Mentally Strong Leader), and the hosts often ask me at the end of their show for one final piece of advice. I often say:
Chase authenticity, not approval.
I’ve seen the latter stunt so many careers, cause so much self-misery. In my LinkedIn Learning course, Happiness Habits, I share “The Authenticity Code of Conduct.” They’re behaviors and attributes to exhibit, and standards to live up to, if you want to stay authentic over time. Here are a few of these behaviors, meant to serve as an authenticity guide post:
Be: humble, vulnerable, genuine, and approachable
Be a Beacon of: honesty, transparency, and integrity
Behave: consistent with your values and who you are at the core
Be worthy of: trust
Be supportive of: those who speak truth and admit mistakes
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
I got such a positive response to something I shared a few weeks ago, that I decided to share it again, in case you missed it. It’s a framework I’ve been following for quite some time that helps me keep perspective and stay positive-minded in today’s increasingly troubling world. I call it Inner-Calm Compartmentalizing. **One thing I’d add since I last shared it – this framework requires an overlay of optimism, along with a belief that the vast majority of people are inherently good (both of which I’m equipped with).
I’ll explain, starting with the three circles you see. The largest, outermost circle represents all the things that happen in the world that are hard to process, that cause me concern and worry. In the center of the model, the smallest circle, is My Village. This is my “inner-circle” within the vastly bigger outer world, the small community of people I care most about, family and friends I want to protect, help, be with, be happy with, grow with. At times when the larger surrounding environment seems most troubling, My Village expands (represented by the four arrows pointing outward). Meaning, even more of the total focus I have to allocate in my life goes to that inner circle. I can’t control what’s happening in the outer world, but I can place more focus on strengthening the bonds within My Village, on fueling a mutually supportive community that finds warmth, solace, and happiness in one another.
My focus shifts even more to what matters most.
Now, of course, I realize I’m blessed to live in a much bigger, extraordinary world, albeit peppered with plenty to be troubled by. And so, the cost of living on such an incredible planet is that I obviously must deal with the concerning byproducts. That’s where the compartmentalization piece comes in – the three segments of the outer most circle. Here, I place troubling events into one of three “compartments:”
I can ultimately accept it, having arrived, through conscious effort, at least at an understanding of why that thing happened. (That doesn’t mean I have to like it, though).
I can sit with it. That is, it’s something I don’t really understand, I can’t really accept it, but I also can’t let it eat away at my sense of inner-peace, dimming my worldview and causing me to spiral down in hopelessness. I can change my relationship with that event, letting it sit in the background, knowing that the impact still exists, and won’t go away. In other words, I focus not on “letting go,” but “letting be.” (After all, “letting it go” is known as cognitive dismissal, one of the hardest things to do in all of psychology).
Or I can change it. Not all by myself (although that’s great if I can). I mostly mean by taking small actions that flow against the current of negativity the bothersome event has created. Small actions that can feed into larger streams of change.
I’m not saying my framework is flawless. But when the world seems like it’s conspiring to get me down, it helps me stay up. I hope it helps you, too.
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