INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
What weight are you carrying? What slow-burning, in-the-background problem is eating at you, always parked in the quiet, dark spaces, blocking access to full-on happiness? What issue feels like a constant burden, unaddressed, unrelenting? Maybe it’s an expectation that you have of yourself, or that others have of you, that you’re not fulfilling. Maybe it’s something you must do that you keep putting off. Maybe it’s a worry about a relationship, a job, or a past misstep. All of it, any of it, is the weight you carry.
But an amazing thing happens when you face that burden head-on and address it with sudden force and “upward movement”: a choice, an action, a mindset shift – no matter how heavy any of those might be. Put another way, happiness finds its way in when you stop carrying that weight and start lifting it.
Lifting it, by being brave, by making that decision, or taking that action, or confronting that truth, or choosing to see things differently, none of which you’ve been looking forward to – all so you can move forward to joy.
A friend shared a story about how she addressed a weight she’d been carrying with a difficult choice and a mindset shift, and how thereafter it no longer felt like a weight she carried, but one that had been lifted. I told her I’d never been prouder of her.
I want that for you, too.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
Decisions, decisions. You make them all day long, big and small—so who wouldn’t love to make better decisions? But it’s hard enough to make the right call when you have the time and resources you need, which is never. More common are traps that research shows corral you into making bad decisions.
One such trap to avoid: don’t make high-priority decisions at low-energy times. I’m talking about decision fatigue, when you’re mentally worn down from making lots of decisions, so you just make the call on the rest with far less thought. A famous example of decision fatigue comes from a 2011 Princeton University Study that showed prisoners were more likely to have parole successfully granted if their parole meeting was in the morning versus the afternoon. Accordingly, I started scheduling meetings with big decisions to happen in the morning, when I’m at my sharpest.
To make better decisions, also excel at gathering input from everyone. A Northwestern University study showed that in the average meeting, 70 percent of the talking is done by one or two people (which matches my experience). That won’t help. What will help, though, is avoiding analysis paralysis and using the 60/40 rule instead: decide based on 60 percent gut, 40 percent data. Also, never evaluate anything while you’re emotional, and unplug from the constant onslaught of information you receive to clear your mind and give the best course of action a chance to present itself.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
I’d like to share a simple sentence that I’m drawn to, over and over again, four words that serve as a code for me to live by. In an increasingly divided, angry, complicated world, I keep returning to this mantra as a guide, something I can anchor myself to when so much else seems unsteady.
Be a good person.
That’s it. It’s not that complicated. How many of today’s problems would be solved or well down the path to solution if we all started from this place? I’d be remiss not to point out that not everyone has the same definition of what it means to be a good person. For example, here’s a New York Times article that has four experts defining it four different ways (can we agree on nothing?). For me, it simply means to show thoughtful consideration of others. Period. It’s such a basic, helpful reminder for me – I hope it’s of service to you.
What simple mantra is your guidepost in life? I’d love to hear from you.
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