INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
There are no shortage of studies on the importance of lifelong learning, like this one. But what about the importance of unlearning? I discuss this in my new book (May 7th), The Mentally Strong Leader. It’s helpful to ask yourself once in a while, as part of your personal, ongoing learning and growth plan, “What must I unlearn?” For example, should you:
• let go of preconceived notions and biases
• ditch perspectives and ideas no longer relevant
• identify and challenge assumptions
• drop bad habits getting in the way of moving forward
• discuss opinions different from yours
• listen for understanding (not for convincing others)
It’s about opening yourself up as much as possible to new thinking, maximizing your flexibility (what’s known as “learning agility”), all while remaining at ease in the face of the associated ambiguity and uncertainty. To learn, you have to unlearn some things and adapt to all that comes with it.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
If you struggle with getting to the point quickly, or know someone who does, here’s extra incentive to do better on this front. A communication psychologist I interviewed emphasized the importance of being concise. Getting to the main point quickly triggers evaluative vs. judging thoughts from your audience. You want your audience evaluating what’s being said versus judging who’s saying it. Triggering evaluative thoughts means they’re considering your point, listening for more information or perspective, deciding if they agree. That’s what you want. Take too long getting to the point, and your audience fills the time with judging thoughts that distract them like, “Will he ever get to the point? Does she really know what she’s talking about?” Remember, when you wander, your audience wonders (about you). In fact, the communications expert told me one of her patients, who struggles with being concise, tattooed this on her hand as a reminder to get…to…the…point.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
In my new LinkedIn Learning course, How to Stay Goal-Focused, I share that nothing maintains focus on a goal like driving accountability to deliver on those goals. In fact, one study showed that once you’ve decided to pursue a goal, your likelihood of success is about 25 percent. Commit to that goal to someone who matters, and your probability of success goes up to 65 percent. Have regular “accountability appointments,” where you meet to discuss progress against the goal with the other person, and likelihood of success hits a whopping 95 percent.
Here’s how to conduct those meetings. Set them between the “Goal-Pursuer,” (the person pursuing the goal) and the “Accountability Partner” (the person who holds the Goal-Pursuer accountable). Three questions constitute the agenda for the Accountability Appointment. The Goal-Pursuer should come prepared to discuss (regarding themselves/their team):
1. Where are we making progress, or excuses?
This first part of this question is for assessing progress to date. It’s here that measurements in place can help gauge the level of progress. The second part of the question is meant to encourage honest, vulnerable discussion about where excuses might be predominating.
2. Where are we owning the issue, or avoiding the issue?
This one’s about discussing problems that pop up along the way in pursuit of the goal. If you’re owning the problem, you’re taking responsibility and stepping up to address the issue. If you’re avoiding an issue, you’re dodging responsibility, looking the other way, not stepping up, remaining quiet, doing nothing.
3. Where are we being brave, or blaming?
Being brave means openly acknowledging mistakes, and how they were addressed. For the second part of the question, you discuss blaming behavior, where you’ve not admitted mistakes and instead pointed fingers, or even lashed out.
Not easy discussions to have. But they’re like self-awareness and accountability super-glue. The overall idea here is to provide an opportunity to highlight good work being done, while mitigating accountability dodging behavior that disrupts goal-progress. Accountability Appointments are not meant to be something to dread.
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