INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
Having difficulty getting the respect you deserve at work (or in life)? Ask these 3 questions to prioritize and organize the actions you can take to strengthen your “respected-quotient”:
1. What can you give to earn respect?
2. What should you resist to earn respect?
3. What should you exude to earn respect?
Give, Resist, Exude. That’s your framework. Here are some thought starter behaviors for each.
Give: more than you get, your time and knowledge, praise and credit, the extra 10% (always), your POV and stick by it, feedback, your word and keep it, and respect. (Yup, when you consistently give respect to others, you’re more likely to get it back)
Resist: credit, gossip/sharing secrets, over-apologizing, negativity, blaming.
Exude: professionalism, accountability, mastery, transparency/authenticity, confidence, empathy, collaboration, a “class-act” vibe (integrity, courtesy, humility, calm).
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake many make)
It’s all too easy to feel worn out and frustrated by your job, always focusing on the negative aspects of it. It’s a toxic pattern many fall into that can lock you into disengagement and unhappiness.
Try this simple, but proven, tactic to shift your attitude and focus on what’s positive about your job. Instead of thinking to yourself, “At my job today, I have to _______________. Ugh.”, think, “At my job today, I get to___________________. Yea!” The power of focusing on what you “get to” do vs. what you “have to do” is undeniable. For example, perhaps you remind yourself that in your job you get to work with some really smart, fun people, that you get to get to travel to some cities you’d never otherwise go to, that you get to work on one particularly enjoyable aspect of your job. You get the idea. Thinking “get to” vs. “have to” do gets you to a better mental/attitudinal place.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
Here’s an easy-to-recall tip for handling unfavorable, emotional situations and keeping your cool. When you find yourself in such a situation, with your temper or anxiety quickly rising, remember:
Ctrl Alt Del
Yup, just like the commands you use to reboot your computer, you can reboot your state of mind. It stands for,
Control yourself. Alter your thoughts. Delete negativity.
It really works. Bad situations get worse when emotions escalate and you say things you didn’t mean or act in ways you didn’t intend. In such moments, self-control is vital, as is being aware of unhelpful thoughts you’re having, and then altering those thoughts towards something more helpful, or at least neutral. Which of course, includes getting rid of the negativity you might be spewing at the time. It can be hard to change what you’re feeling and thinking in heated, anxious moments, which is why the simple Ctrl Alt Del structure is so helpful.