INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
Comedian Conan O’Brien recently shared on his show, “Conan O’ Brien Needs a Friend,” what his life goal has been. It resonated with me because it’s so close to my own.
As he shared on an episode with actor Jason Bateman, he’s striving to look back on a body of work he can be proud of. That’s it.
It’s not just a life goal for creative people looking to produce reams of writing or reels of performances. It can be just a goal, one of many, for anyone, one that doesn’t have to necessarily rise to the level of the desired summation of your life.
To help you embrace the idea in your own way, know that it’s helpful to think of your body of work in literal terms. Meaning, there should be a head and a heart to it.
Head: How are you bringing insight to the table, changing the way people think or act, for the better? How are you bettering others’ lives with your thoughtful words or intellectual output?
Heart: How are you emotionally connecting with people, building trust, giving empathy, support, and encouragement? How are you making people feel like they’re not alone?
Bodies of work aren’t just for artists. They’re for anyone wanting to make a masterpiece of their impact.
So be intentional about yours.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake I’ve made)
The Vatican recently installed a new chimney to signal how selection of the new Pope is progressing. If the world sees black smoke, work is still in progress. It can happen many times, as it’s notoriously difficult for so many cardinals, with differing points-of-view, to come to agreement. White smoke means they’ve succeeded, and a new Pope has been elected.
It got me thinking about a mistake we often make, that I’ve certainly made. That is, choosing not to signal, or share with others, how you’re doing, especially if you’re going through something challenging. We don’t for many reasons. We’re embarrassed. We don’t want to be a burden. We’re convinced no one cares or even notices. But research from Yale University shows that people notice more about you than you think, which implies a baseline of caring greater than you’d suspect. That said, people aren’t mind-readers. So, it requires proactivity, and vulnerability, to share with those that matter to you. The good news is that letting people know how you’re doing is an act that can lead to many positives:
• It creates stronger connections by demonstrating a willingness to connect on a deeper level. Being transparent about your struggles can also invite others to share their own challenges, creating a sense of shared experience.
• It creates opportunities for support as sharing your struggles can prompt others to offer practical help, empathy and emotional support, encouragement, or a listening ear.
• It reduces isolation and increases self-awareness, as talking about your feelings can prevent you from internalizing negative emotions and feelings of loneliness. It helps you gain external perspective so you can understand your emotions more clearly, and helps you identify patterns in your behavior so you can develop more effective coping strategies.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
Google conducted a five-year study to discern what makes the most effective teams, so effective. The number one factor is something you’ve likely heard about by now.
Psychological safety. That is, working on a team where there’s confidence that vulnerability and candor are welcome, where interpersonal fear is mindfully minimized.
Here’s your 80/20 on how to foster psychological safety:
1. Issue invites. Openly reach out to others to share their thoughts and ideas. Make it harder for people to remain silent than it is for them to speak up.
2. Value vulnerability. Role model it, authentically. You’ll know it’s true vulnerability if it sounds like truth and feels like courage.
3. Respond the right way. Never shoot the messenger when they bring bad tidings. Commend, vs. condemn, the opposing point of view.
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