INSIGHTS (on leadership/self-leadership)
• It’s not surprising many of us have a hard time asking for help, research shows that self-reliance consistently scores as a top-ten value. But while self-reliance is admirable, it’s also self-limiting. Blame isn’t for failure itself, it’s for failing to ask for help. Here’s help in asking for help: ask for advice instead. Studies show that advice-seeking is a different, easier bridge to getting help because you’re seeking information to inform a course of action, retaining control over the decision-making process, and flattering the other person by indicating you value their knowledge and experience. And by the way, Harvard research shows that people who ask for advice are perceived as more competent, not less competent.
IMPERFECTIONS (a mistake I’ve made)
• If you feel stuck, bored, like you’ve settled, remember that unstuck starts with “u”- you must take responsibility. You have to realize you’re in a rut before you can pull yourself out of one. I made the mistake of burying the feelings of being unchallenged towards the end of my corporate career, unnecessarily delaying my move into speaking/writing/researching professionally. American humorist Will Rogers said, “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Be honest with yourself if you’ve put it in “park” and take ownership to get it back into “drive.” Spot unhelpful patterns you’ve fallen into and the habits weighing you down. Question assumptions and status quo. Recommit to the concept of challenge. Just get “next” going. When I finally did, it changed everything.
IMPLEMENTATION (one research-backed strategy, tip, or tool)
• So much has been tested in the last year, your resilience included. For help on this front, try The 3P Exercise, practiced by elite military organizations for fostering a resilient mindset. When you feel your resilience straining, take 60 seconds to repeat to yourself the following:
“People who are resilient…
… see effects of bad events as temporary, not permanent
… don’t let setbacks prevail over other areas of their lives
… don’t pin blame on themselves for bad events”
Regarding the last thought, it doesn’t mean you don’t own your part in what you could have done better. You’re just disciplined enough to see circumstances as the primary cause, not your ineptitude.